Morning Reflection

Early Mornings are very beautiful, especially when the day is not filled with work, but just time and yourself. Whether it is storming, drizzling or just plain peaceful, it is a nice time to sit and stare.
To breathe in the aroma that is almost imaginary; absorb the sun that has not become too hot yet; know that the day has started at its top without tiredness to bog you down; and yes, smile.
Smile the smile that is not of excitement; not of forced determination; not of obligation; not of hilarious jokes; but because... this is the time when you can feel the sincerity of PEACE. That no matter how buzzing your days may be now, you're still here to put that all aside and smile.yes, smile.

Ahhh...*BREATHES*

Although i'm quite a pig, I do love to wake up early. I love mornings as these. Simply splendid. Great time for reflection and quiet prayers alone. Not the kind that my boss wants me to do; Not the kind where there's so many people, or the boom boom bang bang kind with people jumping around and waving their hands in the air. I like to start my great morning with peace and serenity--sometimes alone, sometimes with loved ones (whether they are aware of it or not).

And yes, today i woke up without with an alarm clock. I woke up and slept ( X 3). Nice.
Reflected on the past few weeks---everything. And this song came on in my ears, and it reminded me of the time in Mizpah.
You know how some songs, you've listened too many a times; you know the lyrics by heart; you can sing along; you know what it means; but just somehow it doenst kick into your head.
I remembered Joyce said something like this back in Mizpah.
We were all hand-copying down the lyrics of this song for our performance for the kids, and she said somthing like this, "...never got to know how meaningful this song is until i write it out line by line..."
And then i started paying attention to what i was copying (haha..ya copying blindly u see)....

Wow...this song's lyrics are really amazing. Speaks right through to my heart, of what was happening then and troubling my heart so much. I kept remembering this phrase from then on till even now---"souls in the wind must learn how to bend".
Wow...

And the song is.....*drums roll*
It's a simple song... *drums keep on rolling*
Heard so many times till we're numb...*drum still rolling*
Amazing song....*drums STILL rolling*
(Anglie! cut the crap!)
And it's......(Heee)

If We Hold On Together (by Diana Ross)

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

*chorus*
If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone




Yeahhh....Good Morning. *Smiles*

My Philo Fren Ah Chong

Ah Chong says:
goodness is innate in a sense: we have the potentiality to be good
but to be good, the inborn potentiality to be good is not enough, for we need to know how to be good, and the reflective knowledge of what it is to be good
for example, even a good guy would be mistaken as bad if he do not know how to behave in a good way, ie. even though his intentions may be good, he may still act in a way so that others may think that he is evil
thus going to church and bible studies and all these things are ways to know how to *behave* so as to be make concrete the innate potentiality to be good

next, it is entirely dubious whether we can be truly good without knowing why what we are doing is good
if a person just do good because others tell him that a certain action is good without knowing and reflecting why it is good
then it is extremely dubious if the person is truly good
so, bible studies, prayer, and church etc can be seen as a *means* for us to fulfill our potential to be good
so it's something like a lens to focus the rays of light
sunlight cannot burn through paper on its own, but if the rays are focused by a lens, then it can burn through stuff
so even if u are good, that's not enough, u need the lens to focus and polish ur innate goodness
the main problem for christianity and u is that christianity maintains that it is the sole source of truth and goodness

Ah Chong continues:
i just remembered something, there's a passage in thessalonians where jesus says that his teachings are not the SOLE way to truth

same thing in buddhism, for buddhism you do not necessarily need to seek nirvana, worldly wealth and peace is also as good

in thessa, jesus asks his follows to question his teachings and not accept in faith
u look at jesus' character, does he look like a dictator to u?

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hmmmmmmmm i really need to look up on thessalonians....but of cos i need to read it in the context of the book also.
Thank you ah chong. This is very enlightening haha *wink*

And then Ah chong carries on to make a stupid joke. EXCUSE ME LOR!!! wat u mean by that!! hahahah...stupid cow...

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Ah Chong's lousy joke:
come on, where can u get an irreligious theist who knows the bible
i can tell a noble lie

can say something like: even though the bible is obviously not true, it teaches some extremely noble and good stuff
so even if anglie believes in some false shit, these false shit is allowing her to be a good person
anglie stinko, and eat bugs

Ah Chong becomes more serious:
yeah, and even the catholic church declares that one should not take it literally


abt the killing and the persecution,i ask you if the killings are a result of the political situation, or is a result of christianity itself
the main problem then is that there is no separation of politics and state, so the pope will join in the fun

yeah, jesus says that we should conquer the faithless, but conquer in what sense?
conquer using the force of reason and persuasion

if a dog does not bark and wag its tail, can u consider it a dog?
if a church does not follow the teachings of its founder, can it be considered a church of its founder?

since the pope does not follow the teachings of christ, then he is not a pope
the problem is with the frigging popoes of old, and not the teachings of christ

My Fren and His Storeroom

My fren says:
yah i become strong in storerooms actually.. cos i get bored inside so i start lifting things around
n u know... we keep all them old bulky things inside
sometimes i jus switch the light off... to train me mental self... n tats how i become strong mentally
n as u know... my storeroom is packed n really small... u've got to fight real hard against claustrophobia
this makes u strong. become a stronger fighter
not only do u fight against that u have to fight against the lizards n roaches tat come avisiting u
n tats how i develop my toughness against tickling

Those Little Details....

(Written on 25 Feb 2006)

Beautiful are His Words
Beautiful is His Love
That I cannot ignore
That i'm afraid to lose.
Beautiful is His Promise
Beautiful is His Faithfulness
That i won't be let lost
That i would never be alone.

He is going to teach me how to love
To love those who are nice
To love those who are vile
To love the unseen
To love the tiny things of this big miracle

Like the wind that sings with the leaves of the trees
Like the clouds that mountains beside the blue sky
Like the stars far beyond
Like the blackness that allowed moons and stars to shine

Like the old people walking by
Like the babies' round curious eyes
Like the clumsy acts of mine
Like the quiet uneasiness between two people
Like the comfort between two lovers.

Like the tears that flowed when two people hug
Like strangers giving reciprocating smiles
Like a mother's care
Like a father's understanding
Like a sister's sleeping soundly after a tired day
Like a brother's disgusting habits
Like a messy home that provides refuge
And more
And more
More and more.

Who is truly generous?

Recently, I have been trying too much to make sense of my heart, and my mind is trying too hard to come up with a list of criteria that i can simply check alongside with. I'm trying too much to make sense of the other that somehow...i cant seem to make sense of myself anymore. At some point, it drives me nuts and there came a stage when i was so numb from all the confusion. My mind jumps back and forth, past and present, hurt and elation...like a boomerang--Throw out, come back, throw out again, come back again. What i have i done?

I have been thinking in a useless circular way.


My heart is pure and innocent. When it cares, it cares. When it trusts, it trusts. When it hates, it hates. When it's jealous, it's jealous.When it hurts, it hurts. When it's joyful, it's joyful. When it loves, it loves. There is no confusion.

My mind is the mother of thy heart. It seeks to protect it and love it unconditionally. But sometimes the adult must learn from the child, just as the child must learn from the mother.
A child is immature when he does not know what the adult knows. But the adult is foolish, if he forgets what it's like being a child.

What am i trying to say?

That I have forgotten that i have been seeking for this great virtue of true generousity. A man who does not offer to help because he can afford to but a man that TRIES to offer his help even when he has barely enough for himself. I dont mean that people should kill themselves to show true generosity. What i'm trying to say is that a man who TRIES to offer will not take heed of how abundantly he has at the moment. He will not be calculative. He offers because he wants to, and not because he wishes to tell people that he is a generous man. He offers because he loves.And his nice-ness extends to everyone.(or at least tries to)

And he who owns a great mind is he who is willing to humble himself to a child's mind. That is, to be open-minded and not to be childish. The two are different. For he who is able to humble himself down, knows that he has lots to learn and he is not the master of all knowledge and wisdom. He TRIES even as he knows he is not perfect---- he cannot be 100% humble.And he who is humble, respects others.
He who tries, reflects.He who reflects, tries in actions.

My utmost respect goes to those who knows the world's as vile and treacherous, but continues to choose to be good. It is not easy. And it is very idealistic. But he who is mindful of being both idealistic and realistic is a man of great character. He who tries, may know little of what lies ahead. But he who tries, earns my sincere respect that knows no lies.


So my prayers have thought me to be mindful of these three virtues--- humility, perserverance, and true generosity.
Of what i can offer to the other from these,
And also what the other can offer from these as well.

For my young friend

I think you're really stressed
I think your hair's probably in a mess
Maybe your glasses are askewed
Like,what the hell, you just rammed into wall of steel?

In your mind you screamed with despair
Of hopes and dreams that seem to reach it's dead end's snare
Your silent tears of woes that no one knows
Trickles down your cheeks and scars your breath
Your anguish!
Your confusion!
Your fatigue!
Your self-hatred rage!
"Break this bloody wall!" says you
"Give me the freedom and renew my hope!"

"But how, but how"
Those pitiful tears continue to roll
"How do I break this wall of solid steel?"
"I've tried to hit it down, burn it down
But to no avail"
"So how how how....
I'm so lost and frail..."

My dear friend, this is what I have to say
You think too much
Your worry too much
Your fear has paralysed you!
A little fear is good
It makes you run
But if you run against the hard cold steel
You'll waste your energy
And crash your will.

For all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy!
Hence we study SMART
We play hard
And we let the willing hands around us help us
Guide us.
All you need to do is ask.

Mentally, you're probably "burnt-out"
You need a rest
You need to relax
your mental fury and chill
Yes, you need to clear your mind
So that you can think cleary in no time.

Some names...(more to come)

The meaning of Angelia

Origin: Greek
Meaning: Messenger.

Origin: Italian
Meaning: Feminine form of Angelo: Messenger of God; angel.

Origin: Latin
Meaning: Angel; Messenger.

Origin: Spanish
Meaning: Angel.
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The meaning of Amie

Origin: English
Meaning: Beloved.

Origin: French
Meaning: Beloved. Dearly loved.
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The maening of Sophie

Origin: Greek
Meaning: Wisdom