Friday, July 23, 2004

Poetic exchange

somethin interestin happened today...
today's exchange of messages with kelly seemed extra enlightenin..haha..and i've decided to record it down in case my other forgetful half takes rein!!
here goes...

from me:
"Poem for u!!--The owl seeks for the night that sleeps. it hides from the day that makes it bleed. No one knows what it does or do, but i do i do, and i beg you take care--smiles-"

kelly:
"so in the end wat does the owl do? or it just sleep its day away like u? wakey up and do your due..so tonight shall we have a meal?=p"

Me:
" I'm totally impressed, i confess!!Noe not then rare talent was present! For this, a meal shall be set. But food o Sir, where shall we get?"

kelly:
"lets meet at cityhall..Though we not goin to a ball..630 it shall be. try not to be too dirty..dine fine and we shall, but had u called mel?"

Me:
"wat ball!! wat dirty!! you tryin too hard to rhyme it but its not funny!! mel's makin her way back to island in a furry. N so we shall wait till we're hungry!!"

hahaha...and the poetic exchange ends here..
kelly cant keep up to it...hahaha...and for all i knew..he confessed that he din knew wat i meant abt owls!!!
terrible...

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Ok..i think i have rested more than enough..
am feelin much like a pig now..even my tummy's growin at a horrendous speed..i'm gona look like i'm pregnant if i dont stop this kind of lifetyle.
if the tomorrow's outing at fort cannin is not successful..i shall make my way to school and try to find that interestin book called "we're just good friends"...cool...
 
my dad's been urgin me to plan somtin for my upcomin birthday. it's such a joke that he's putting more brain cells to it than i am. my dad can be so sweet sometimes. so wat shall i plan? kinda lazy now u noe..haha..somebody should wack me for tat remark..
definitely not gona plan a BIG party..that's too erm..stupid and troublesome. seriously, wats the big deal about 21st anyway? its jus another ordinary birthday man..i am not define by one day's significance..nor can i be CHANGED in one day..haha..all nonsense created by stupid laws.
all i wana do is to be with my dearest friends..to have a heartwarming meal together and i shall be more than happy.still remember last year's birthday..definitely the best ever..couldnt stop smilin whenever i think about it..even now.
 
tomorrow shall be a BRAND new day for me. the sun shall shine and the flowers shall bloom to welcome me! haha..maybe go for a walk or jog in the mornin...yep tat would be fantastic.call up for tuition jobs. read my "sybil" and "abnormal psychology". write more letters to mizpah..and make my way down to fort cannin!! wonderful!
 
 

Monday, July 19, 2004

A stupid TALE

I was sitting in a restaurant drinking pineapple juice. Although not at all exciting, i was pretty much contented and happy because i love pineapple juice. Yes..pineapple juice..one of those weird loves i acquired from the India trip.
 
I was talking,but i was alone with my pineapple juice. Now there, don't get me wrong. i wasn't talking to my juice. i was merely talkin to my journal with my fingers (if you get what i mean).A whole lot of thoughts to pen down and solitude is good. kevin wrote me a poem, a pretty nice one i'd say. his style is different and thats wat intrigues me.(something different). he asked me out for a dinner on sunday..i tink he's in love with me.And instead of admittin to it, he's pushin the blame to me. ha...wat a nincompoop.
 
And there i was..savouring my loneliness when a haggard burly man came in. he had a face that tells stories of sorrow and guilt, and his clothes needed a nag from my mum. totally atrociously smelly.Mr Burlyman came in and walked right up to a lady sitted a table away from me.(boy..for that moment i thought i would faint) the lady, in contrast, was clean and white. she probably wore some sweet scent too. The infusion of both "ying and yang" scents was enough to send my olfactory senses berserk!( i swore i'm suffering from blocknose now)
 
Ms Ladywhite didnt even flinch when burlyman sat down opposite her. Surprisingly, she was smilling!!(talkin abt weird ppl)hmph!
ok apparently..tis two weirdos have known each other for long and they are married!!!so there they were having a heart-to-heart talk while i tried to stay consious and eavesdrop..hahaha...terrible...
 
ok so wat happened?
well..the lady was chatting away happily and making lotsa jokes when burlyman suddenly stood up.with a face as fierce as a charging bull..he stomped out.yeah..jus like that.
the lady was stumped. i was shocked to the max..cos i was eavesdropin(haha) and they sounded perfectly fine before that unexplainable scene!!
 
my goodness..poor lady..if i were a MAN i would have wacked that guy and demanded an apology(for the lady of cos).hate men who doesnt respect manners and women.i'm not sayin women can be rude, i detest anyone who's devoid of manners.temper is devil's one big powerful tool i'd say. For friendships' sake(wat more wife), we shld always TRY to be forgivin and control TEMPERS!! terrible...
 
after the lady left..i had a talk with the cashier.
instead of becoming more angry with burlyman..my heart went out to him. sigh..for all i know.. burlyman worked like shit just so he can support his wife's daily expenses..such as idling away in the restaurant..
and i guess the wife was jus to oblivious to his fatigue and her laughter and jokes probably went too far...sparked the bomb up..
poor soul...
 
but still...that is not an excuse for the "flare-up"...he could have talked it out nicely with his wife..communication man buddy...
how else would the wife know he was unhappy if he din proclaim?!!
i mean..he wanted his wife to happy..and happy she was!!
 
balance balance balance...
nobody's superman..even supermans need a break...
 
lotsa love,
Author.
 
 

Sunday, July 18, 2004

kelly says my attention-span is v short...yeah i agree...maybe that explains why i'm such an idealist. i tink too much and talk too much..but seldom does it solidifies into somethin concrete. now i dun believe in myself anymore..
i still remember how i wanted to attend bible studies...but in the end i'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it...
and i still remember how convicted i was to study hard like mad for my dreams..but along the way i faltered and slacked...
i recalled how determined i was to make my relationship work out right..but in the end i was the first one to give it up..
i remembered how eager i was to hold on to my ideals and beliefs..but now..i must be one of the most skeptical person alive...
i remembered how strongly i wanted to stay sanguine..but i'm always easily dampened..
i've always wanted to fight a war...but can i do that at all?
 
i want to start somethin for the mizpah kids..i am eager to..but i'm afraid of my own stamina..i cannot go on for long without a righthand man..
but it seems..no one is as eager as i am to start something that threads on a long-term basis..
 
sometimes i do things without thinking far enough into the future..
i am so short-sighted sometimes it kills me as things progressed..
what if i cant juggle all those things i wana do along with my studies and tuition jobs? i still have CBLC..i cant neglect my duties in that..
in the end i always question myself..."what have i landed myself into?"
consequences..consequences...consequences...
when will i ever give that fella a worthwhile thought..
when will i ever understand myself better and give myself a break?
when will i learn to aim for the tree branches instead of the sky?
when will i learn to organize my thoughts so that i can be more focused?
when will i learn how to balance like a pro?
 
jack of all traits master of none
interest and passion i have everywhere but undone
 
cheers,
fairy killer
 
 

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Anger beseeched

Wretched soul i am to be
Mouldy clouds behold my mind
i see no happiness i see no joy
but only things that make it vile
 
A clue i have
the clue is blank
the compass i have
is all but broken
the fumes engulfed me
i cant escape
--------------------------------------------------------
 
Too long i've spent my time idling away aimlessly.
Turning into a slob that lies to cover its own cause.
The Fear i have is coming to get me,
i must not let it overrun me.
It drenched my hopes my convictions my dreams
but never is it able to destroy
For i return with vengeance and anger
with blood smeared on my face
smite em, kill em, bury em i shall
return them to their begotten graves.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Birth of Nonsense No.1

Never understand why those funny people wrote blogs for. Is it a way to publicly show their anonimity?a place to "appropriately" show-off themselves? o come on...how much truth can there be if one knows that there are people out there reading their "diaries"...
ha...maybe its jus a place for people to brag or seek sympathy?
maybe a place for people to share expereiences?(ha tis sounds the most logical)
hey its not like my life is damn interesting...
so embrace yourselves for a ride of nonsense if u care to read on...

well well...and now i am one of those "funny" people..ha...BUT i stilll cant answer those questions mentioned above..
maybe i jus wana be famous anonymously...
ha....
o yes....i LOVE FAME!!! WOW!!!

i'm starting tis blog for an utterly boring reason...cos im bored..
WOW....
mayb its a place for me to vent my horns too..
cos i cant curse n swear in person...
words like "fuck" cant come out of my mouth without meself squirming in disgust..

so lets start the blog with a perfectly "interesting" chronicles of wat happened to miss sanguinee

10am -- guggled some water and mixed em w toothpaste and tries to give my teeth lotsa abrasion with somtin called toothbrush...

2pm-- my oesophagus became active and sent lotsa meaty n veggie frens down to the stomach so that mr HCL can kill em..wa..so sadist...

3pm-- cant rememeber...

4pm-- stil cant remember...

725pm-- hey!! tats now!! im starting n writting a blog now!! yes now!!

after 725pm-- who noes...i may die...kena strike by lightnin or building crash to pieces..ha...