Bear

As the massive jam of people started to squeeze the joy out of me, I am impelled to let the tiredness justify the disappearing vigor to be positive. Strange as it may seem, and illogical even, i started to see images of the things I lack and have yet to have, and wonder if i ever will have them at all. My state of limbo is like a purgatory of sorts --- not bad enough to enter hell, nor good enough to float up to heaven. Where am I? What am I doing? Why do I feel like I'm waiting for something still?

A dull sense of foreboding rears its ugly head. The cloud of dust puffs up like chalk powder stirred into an angry storm by a smashing wham! of the duster against the blackboard by the fuming teacher.
"YOU THERE! Stop dreaming! Pay attention to what I am teaching!" thundered Bear.
I quivered, but not for long.
Defiance crawled under my skin. I stared at Bear squarely in the eyes, breathing hastened.
I spat, " Why do you care?"

Bear saw my tensed muscles, my clenched jaw and he softened. His eyes turned a gentle hue. The dust settled. His eyebrows turned downwards, forming a mountain of melancholic understanding and his eyes searched my soul; and there was the conversation I've always wanted -- speechless understanding that binds us across the chasm. I relented.

I don't have to know that he cared. It only mattered that he cared at all. Bear roars with love and his warmth digs deep into my soul to draw out the warmth that is similar to his. Some times things can cloud it badly but that doesn't mean I don't have the warmth in me. Because Bear never takes back his gifts. His special coat, that radiates courage, joy, peace, and hope, will help anyone to survive and to fire up the darkness of the night, only if we realise that the cold is not from within but from without.  And the best part? Bear hugs us into this realization.

I stepped off the bus and returned to my familiar abode. Images of transcendent beauty flood my tired mind. Yes the dancing fire in the bejeweled tapestry of the night sky; the gamut of smiles I've collected in my life; the people in my life who formed a symbiotic joy and peace; the round disc of orange glow-- the drinkable sunlight. And yes, Bear.
The wind blew the rest away.

"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away"

-- George Elliot