Who is truly generous?

Recently, I have been trying too much to make sense of my heart, and my mind is trying too hard to come up with a list of criteria that i can simply check alongside with. I'm trying too much to make sense of the other that somehow...i cant seem to make sense of myself anymore. At some point, it drives me nuts and there came a stage when i was so numb from all the confusion. My mind jumps back and forth, past and present, hurt and elation...like a boomerang--Throw out, come back, throw out again, come back again. What i have i done?

I have been thinking in a useless circular way.


My heart is pure and innocent. When it cares, it cares. When it trusts, it trusts. When it hates, it hates. When it's jealous, it's jealous.When it hurts, it hurts. When it's joyful, it's joyful. When it loves, it loves. There is no confusion.

My mind is the mother of thy heart. It seeks to protect it and love it unconditionally. But sometimes the adult must learn from the child, just as the child must learn from the mother.
A child is immature when he does not know what the adult knows. But the adult is foolish, if he forgets what it's like being a child.

What am i trying to say?

That I have forgotten that i have been seeking for this great virtue of true generousity. A man who does not offer to help because he can afford to but a man that TRIES to offer his help even when he has barely enough for himself. I dont mean that people should kill themselves to show true generosity. What i'm trying to say is that a man who TRIES to offer will not take heed of how abundantly he has at the moment. He will not be calculative. He offers because he wants to, and not because he wishes to tell people that he is a generous man. He offers because he loves.And his nice-ness extends to everyone.(or at least tries to)

And he who owns a great mind is he who is willing to humble himself to a child's mind. That is, to be open-minded and not to be childish. The two are different. For he who is able to humble himself down, knows that he has lots to learn and he is not the master of all knowledge and wisdom. He TRIES even as he knows he is not perfect---- he cannot be 100% humble.And he who is humble, respects others.
He who tries, reflects.He who reflects, tries in actions.

My utmost respect goes to those who knows the world's as vile and treacherous, but continues to choose to be good. It is not easy. And it is very idealistic. But he who is mindful of being both idealistic and realistic is a man of great character. He who tries, may know little of what lies ahead. But he who tries, earns my sincere respect that knows no lies.


So my prayers have thought me to be mindful of these three virtues--- humility, perserverance, and true generosity.
Of what i can offer to the other from these,
And also what the other can offer from these as well.