TAH DAH after 5 years!!

(Part 1)

I realised that perhaps one of my greatest gifts is in the ability to listen to people's silence-- the silence in between their words, their sentences, and the absence of expression of any thoughts. I don't know how I do it, but sometimes I do. In learning how to listen to people, I also end up understanding them. Understanding is often an overprescribed, understated word that fails to capture the real essence of knowing people, feeling their triumphs, and accepting their mistakes without condoning their errors and fallacies. I somehow seem to be able to guess and interpret what precedes their actions and what follows and concludes their whole experience, though sometimes I don't tell them.
I guess that's why man invented that word called empathy, like a higher order of understanding that involves both the mind and heart (oh wait, and physiology). (haha)


(Part 2)
I don't like to share. But there's a need to share. I don't want to share because it's scary to share your life, yourself, your innermost thoughts and feelings with others. I don't like to share my instantaneous mental reactions with others because it makes me vulnerable. I don't like to share my past in detail with others because it makes me too vulnerable. I don't like people to read me. I don't like people to know what I'm going to do next. Basically, I don't want people to put me in a box and predict my every move and thought. They do that all the time, and I don't blame them, 'cause I do it sometimes too. And yet, there's a certain sweetness between two people when they can predict each other to a certain degree. Perhaps, THAT is why I get a little confused when I get too close to people. Predictability is bitter and sweet, because it makes one vulnerable and yet gives you that security that one understands you completely (or near to that).

So this is it. This is why I never liked to do sharing in Verbum Dei events. This is why people naturally grow close to me (unexpectedly) and vice versa. Because I listen to them, even to their darkest secrets. And I feel fearful because there seems a need to reciprocate. And sharing your life's past, present, future, makes you very vulnerable. And perhaps that is why people are so guarded. Perhaps people prefer to remain mysterious because it gives them a certain power over others. Perhaps that is why people repressed their feelings but share their thoughts like intellectual facts.

Because we are afraid to be vulnerable.

Awaken

To the awareness of life

through the awareness of death

Awaken

To the awareness of God's presence

through the awareness of God's absence

Would you rather be mad, or face up to the madness of life's responsibilities?