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I've got great news. I'm gonna do some marking of the exam papers in my school!
Now that would probably surprise some because marking is not something to yay yay about.But i have to tell you that when you have been designated no other job in a school except printing papers, relief classes and looking at walls, you start to feel very small amongst all others and start to scream for something concrete to do. yes! i'm going to do some marking!

Today i stepped in a sec 2 normal tech class. Pretty rowdy them lot they were, but thats not what i'm gona talk about. I'm gona talk about 2 particular girls from this class. Because they were great enough to come forward and ask me questions pertaining to maths, i was able to grasp their level of understanding. To tell the truth, (although i didnt show it) i was horrified by their standards. They couldn't even do simple algebraic sums like "2x +5= 1- 5x" . Man, i am worried for them now, for their end-year papers are next week; and i am worried enough for them because i can see they sincerely strive to do better. It's just that their foundations are so rocky, it is difficult to achieve results overnight. They need a miracle.

It's sad to see some student wanting to do better and yet the culture of their class impedes them. Its either that or their self-esteem demoralizes them; and the results that often accompany would onlly serve to fulfill what they expected of themselves---a self-fulfilling prophesy, a vicious cycle. And so i offered to see them after school. I am so "free" anyway.

It is also sad and equally amusing to hear about the things that the DM( discipline master) faces everyday. Quite recently (he said), he got to know that some monkeys in school created a friendster account for him. They put in his profile list, under hobbies: love to give detention classes and scold students. And his favourite music was students' cryinig. Also, there's this student from a class that i observed who made a remark such as this: "Cher! why doesnt the government make everybody study a new language called singlish, then we can all ace it!"
And this same fella twisted the phrase "laughing their heads off" into some joke.
Fella: " Cher! can say the audience left without their heads?"
.................dot dot dot.....

A student ( from my future form class) just came around to borrow 6 bucks from me. poor soul i dont have enough cash! haha...but im pretty amused by him actually. This is the first time i hear about students borrowing money from a "new" teacher. One, it either means that i'm very approachable and built quite a decent rapport with that student; or two, it could mean that i'm easily extorted. haha well i choose to think it as of the former.





( this morning i saw a brother fetching his little bro to school on a bicycle. how do i know they were related? cos both wore the uniform from the same school but one had long pant while the other had a short one. ok i assume la.)

"Only that which is the other gives us fully unto ourselves.."

All this while i have been wondering if i had been afterall the one that has been sick; and all that i have been accustomed to were not so much for others but for the minds of my own. For the interests of one must, afterall, come from within.

And how may i be tempted as to be begged upon the very path of sadness, but the oneself that truly despises all? I cant describe the despair enough, for it has been intermixed with all that pride, and the resultant? One of self-pity. It is truly this that must have made depression narcississtic. What i could not achieve in theory, i could neither have made it in practice, and still i torment myself with this neverending duel. Why? I so much as want to help, but i think i cant and have never been doing a good job. I can't, and yet i still wish to. Can you forgive my stubborness? Both of You?
As i know this speaks of faith that requires more than just my muscle's strength (of which isn't much; as seen from the bruises on my back and the unequivocal defeat at the wrestling match), i cant help it but feel that this is all but a funny suspension in the abyss.

There was this tale about a woman who had met with a violent accident, and upon this unfortunate event a Doctor blessed her with perfections of his skill. That she was able to get back her life was a miracle, yet no one would have expected her to be back with the beauty that she had never had before. Or so it was said.
For everytime the woman looks into a mirror of all shapes and sizes, she sees the most disfigured face that horrifies the very eyes of her soul, but she could not understand why people indulged her with sugar and spice, and all things that are nice. She thought they were all just too kind to tell her the truth. Being too embarassed and diplomatically nice, they should at least spare her with the list bit pity that could have consoled her mishaps. Sometimes they sound so convincing, she could believe them. But the mirror always haunts her and makes her look down and cry.

(this tale from some "twilight zone" late-night tv show. the story may a bit modfied but the gist is there as i think it is. i watched it so long ago.)

Wat are Friends for?

Sometimes i wonder what to define a true friend as. Is one who shares your laughter a true friend; or one who shares your woes; or both? Is it one who can shares the most interesting conversations with you; talking about anything under the stars, moon, cloud, sun, and bird poo poos? Or would true friends be the one that can share 1 hour silence with you? One that does the craziest things with u, like for instance singing " this is the song that doesnt end..." for about an hour?

O and i have more questions to flow along.
Say for example two friends, A and B. A is almost 24/7 together with you, acompanying you to classes, lunch, dinner, and toilet, while B spends 7/24 of her time with you (vice versa). So who is to be define as The Best Friend???
And....do birds of a feather flock together? Or do opposites attract? That is, do u find yourself very different from your close friends or do you identify with them?

Wait one more.... are true friends those who say the nicest things to you; or do they say the truest things to you (which can somtimes be very harsh, like pointing out that you are a twerk who has a chronic financial deficit disease)?

Sounds like some tricky business here eh? but i think i know the answer. A friend indeed is everything indeed!!

Sounds like an all rounder; sounds like an octopus; sounds like an all too perfect human being!!
Eeeeeeks!!!!