O wat sadness

Watched a video today in school about bullying. A group of girls beating another girl. Really punching, slapping, kicking, pulling and yanking of the hair. The extent of its seriousness and pain cannot be brought unto reality and given its due justice by the mere descriptions offered by these verbs. It's really very sad to see the potentiality of men to indulge in evil and wickedness. They tried to strip her bare; expose her breasts to the camera and the most horrendous part was that ENJOYED it. The girl behind the camera was laughing with glee and earnestly wanting to capture every beating, stripping scenes and expose'. She even suggested a few hurtful moves with absolutely no sense of compunction. O dear, why these girls, why these children.
The reason why i'm writing on this particular incident was because of the disturbing nature of its reality and not so much of the punching, kicking, yanking per se. It made me so sad.The teacher beside me cried when she saw the video and i felt this lump of sadness clogging up my throat. By the end of the video, I was impelled to say a little prayer for all those victims of bullies out there. Held my cross in my hands and prayed silently for them, especially the girl in the video.
It's so sad that there's so much potential in Man to love evilness and the fact that these girls bullied out of glee instead of frustation was sickening to the pit of stomachs.
Let's pray for them all, even the evil ones...

And I'm currently reading "The Child called It" (finally). The author's good in his own sense, but if it be that the language was meant to depict a children's mental and emotional state, then he was not very good at that. He had meant it to be that way so in that way/purpose, i guess he had sorta failed. But in any case, the potentiality of it being true, and i believe so it could certainly be, i feel so sad so sad at the cruelity of mankind.

God, the extent of your grief must be a million gazillion times worse.

"I am" by Tpnud Hun (Buddist Monk)

I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
I am also the bird, which when Spring comes, arrives in time to eat the mayfly.
I am a frog swimming happily in the clear water of a pool,
I am also the grass snake who approaching in silence feeds itself on the frog.
I am a child in Uganda, all skin and bone, my legs as thin as bamboo sticks.
I am also the merchant of arms who sells deadly weapons to Uganda.
I am the 12-year old girl refugee in a small boat, who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea pirate.
I am also the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and loving.
My joy is like Spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all walks of life.
My pain is like a river of tears, so full it fills up all the four oceans.
Please call me by my correct names, so that I can hear at the same time all my cries and laughs.
So I could see that all my joy and pain are but one.
Please call me by my correct names, so that I could become awake,
So that the door to my heart be left open,
The door of compassion.

O He Really Speaks

From Verbum Dei, Prayer for Living:
"Father, I dont like to suffer, but I believe that through my sufferings, you can transform me more and more into your likeness. In order to be perfect like you, and for all the people who come to know you through my life, I ask for the patience and faith to go through all the difficulties with humility and hope. In times of temptations, help me not to choose the easy way of oblivion and instantaneous pleasure, but to keep my eyes fixed on you."

This was what i wrote:

Thank you Lord
For all that you have bestowed upon us
The Love that constantly regrows
Feeding us with love to love others
To care not for ourselves only
But to care for all.

To question our own selfishness
And to work for the better good.
Shall we not be blessed by You
All that is, All that we are
Would fall apart and perish.
Life in itself would be hellish
A living suffering that knows no resurrection.

In one life we have
We cannot save the world
But in one life of ours
We can try to help those around us
We can pray for them
For with our own hands
We support others by holding onto God's hands
To rely on Him completely
Beyond the measures of our own glory
To acknowledge His control
Beyond the comprehension of our own folly.

Amen.

An email to Edward

Hello Edward!!

I'm so physically challenged this days. I hardly see my main door in daylight!! It's not the school's that's tiring me, its the LONG DAY thing. Everyday of the week i have something on after school like driving, tuition, prayers, faith formation. But i'm not saying i hate them la...

My driving is ok. I think its very fun! hahaha...except for the fact that i always go out of the lane when i do a turn. haha...during the first lesson, i kept touching my instructor's thigh accidentally whenever i wana change the gear!!! hahaha i was so paisay cos by the 3rd or 4th time he had to shift away in his seat!!
Angie driving, holding on to steering wheel & looking ahead: "sorry sir, i kept touching you leg!"
Instructor: " you want my leg is it? can la, i give it to you la. i got an extra one in the boot"
Angie: "hahaha.."

hehe i couldnt joke any further cos i need to concentrate on the driving! cannot multitask! hehe


Edward, once again i feel so blessed. thurday's prayers always refreshes me spiritually and therefor mentally and psychologically. I share with you wat i wrote during the prayers ok? :)
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-Addressing God ("Father"), do we mean what we say or address?
-every word from God means truth. He means it COMPLETELY (eg. wen he says "my child")
-He gives us life through His Words
-the word has a mission everytime it is addressed to us
-His Words really makes different. Always powerful.

-He helps to reorientate our lives.
-Listening to God is also a choice
-We need to continually renew our choice.
-Often in our lives, we sometimes do feel tis great enthusiasm & in that moments we know/think everything is great and good
-But we also have times when the feelings wane, we start to doubt that our previous experience is real. that maybe its just all in the mind etc
- But it is most important that @ tis points, we put to practise our faith.

-Faith not just based on feelings.
-Prayer is not so much og getting something or getting ideas

-Our worries may occupy much space, time, efforts of us. But this are the moments, we need to LET GO. Trust that God is in control.
-Riches can be our pride, our defences to protect ourselves
-Pleasures can be our temptations
-God wants us to let this things go so that we can grow towards maturity
-Humility is the essence of maturity-growing
- it is in situations that we cannot be in control that we realise that we need to rely on God
- An analogy:
A great big majestic tree has strong roots in good grounds of good soil. When the leaves of the tree withers and fall to the ground, they are the ones that become teh fertilizer that let the tree grow big and strong.

-Therefore, in ourlives our setbacks helps us to grow in faith. Sometimes God lets us go into situations that we cannot control becos tat's precisely wat he wants to show us, to let us learn--that we need to rely on Him.

That You still love us
Our paths You chose for us
They tell us what we need to know
What we need to learn
That we need to rely on You.

For many things are beyond our control
The amazement of it all
Bedazzles or scares
Which would you choose?
Which would i choose to be overwhelmed with?
That be the Word of God.

In the origins of the circles
As full control in our lives
A constant life like the vines of our hearts and minds
Our Father tells us
That He
Loves us.

Where the humility saves us from our misery
Where the humility allows us to grow in faith
In our relationship with God
Each day i choose to renew my faith.
Although sometimes it wanes
Sometimes it seems almost non-existent
Our Father's Word remains
Forever and ever.

"....and yield a harvest through their perseverance"
"Your new birth was not from any mortal seed but from the everlasting word of the living and eternal God. All flesh is grass and its glory like the wild flowers. The grass withers, the flower falls, but the Word of the Lord remains forever. What is this word? It is the Good News that has been brought to you." (1 Peter 1:23-25)

The Word of Yahweh cannot fail.

"Yes, as the rain and the snow come down from the heavens and do not return without watering the earth, making it yield and giving growth to provide seed for the sower and bread for the eating so the word that goes from my mouth does not return to me empty, without carrying out my will and succeeding in what it was sent to do." (Isiah 55:10-11)
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Yeap that so much that i wrote! haha...o yeah thanks for the happy brazilian CD! hee...
and i'm not so enthusiastic about the finals cos none of my fav teams made it!!! eeeks....but i tink i might jus support Italy for the fun of it...

I want to tell u more about my school experience but i think my email is LONG enough. so i shall stop here and tell u about it next time k!! hope u were not shocked by the length of this email!!! heeee

bless you!

Secret Wedding Song

Woohoo....boy do i just love Alanis Morissette....her songs are simply so sad, so dark, filled with so much angst, so much suppressed craziness, so much happiness, so much optimism, so much will power to oversome sorrows setback and all the shits in the world, so snobbish, and so humble wanabe...Woohoo....

Not quite like the normal wedding songs you'd hear.


EVERYTHING (by Alanis Morissette)

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby and you’ve never met anyone
who is as negative as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

I'm the funniest woman you've ever known.
I am the dullest woman you've ever known.
I'm the most gorgeous woman you've ever known
And you've never met anyone as, as everything as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...