kelly says my attention-span is v short...yeah i agree...maybe that explains why i'm such an idealist. i tink too much and talk too much..but seldom does it solidifies into somethin concrete. now i dun believe in myself anymore..
i still remember how i wanted to attend bible studies...but in the end i'm afraid of the commitment that comes with it...
and i still remember how convicted i was to study hard like mad for my dreams..but along the way i faltered and slacked...
i recalled how determined i was to make my relationship work out right..but in the end i was the first one to give it up..
i remembered how eager i was to hold on to my ideals and beliefs..but now..i must be one of the most skeptical person alive...
i remembered how strongly i wanted to stay sanguine..but i'm always easily dampened..
i've always wanted to fight a war...but can i do that at all?
 
i want to start somethin for the mizpah kids..i am eager to..but i'm afraid of my own stamina..i cannot go on for long without a righthand man..
but it seems..no one is as eager as i am to start something that threads on a long-term basis..
 
sometimes i do things without thinking far enough into the future..
i am so short-sighted sometimes it kills me as things progressed..
what if i cant juggle all those things i wana do along with my studies and tuition jobs? i still have CBLC..i cant neglect my duties in that..
in the end i always question myself..."what have i landed myself into?"
consequences..consequences...consequences...
when will i ever give that fella a worthwhile thought..
when will i ever understand myself better and give myself a break?
when will i learn to aim for the tree branches instead of the sky?
when will i learn to organize my thoughts so that i can be more focused?
when will i learn how to balance like a pro?
 
jack of all traits master of none
interest and passion i have everywhere but undone
 
cheers,
fairy killer