Lydia Showed me these

Ah Beng's Blog
http://rockson.blogspot.com/

This is quite funny. his language altho v crude but nonetherless entertaining for first-time readers.


My potential student-to-be's blog
http://greedylilstoneymouse.blogspot.com/

Good Mornin

Just woke up.

The dream was good; the wake-up was good. Now it's raining, everything is perfect.
I had to write it down before anything goes a missing.

The dream i had was particularly MAGICAL (so were the rest of the events that purports this blog entry). First of what i could all remember was that i was trekking with some of my india troopers in some jungle in singapore. I'm not kidding abt the jungle part.....
And then we were walking walking when i somehow got separated from the rest.Thereafter, i went to fetch my fren weijing from some mrt station, and continued to walk with some other frens (i couldnt remember if this group of frens were the same india troopers or some others).
On hindsight, we were kind of remarkable to decide to walk to mizpah!! We walked there and it was actually not such a long walk for i think it wasnt the emphasis of the dream so everything just dwindle for that instance between two seemingly different dreams.

We were back at Mizpah. I saw all the children again. I saw Jenny. And i can even remember seeing Annie somewhere. I talked to them, played with them, smiled at Jenny. Strangely, sangeyboy was singing w the most heavenly voice on some mattresses and he beckoned me to join him cos he was out of beat. So there i was, givin him the beats and singing along with him. The rest of the children joined in; crowded around me; and i could sing watever songs as if they were an inborn thing.

And then i woke up............
to children singing!!!!
For a moment i was shocked! Shocked for many reasons. Wondering if i was i in one of those weird dreams that u wake up just so to end up in yet another dream; or that the children were downstairs in my home! impossible!
it was too real!! the children cant come here!!impossible!!!
I lied in bed for almost a full minute before i could decipher where the singing was coming from. They came from under my block or somewher near my block; maybe the kindergarden downstairs...i duno. they were just such heavenly voices....singing...singing....
And they started to sing "Heal the World"
Heal the world...
make it a better place...
for u and for me and the entire human race...
there are people dying
if u cared enough for the living
make a better place for u and for me....

haha..so cute...

so as i started to wonder if i should appeal for primary school teaching instead of secondary...it started to rain..making everything so magical; so lovely; so much like the embroidery fairytale i adore (the book i gave to mizpah). And it was like a cleansing bath....time to wake up and make this magical moment as definite as it can be.

Weird things people do......

Sangeyboy

Rest assured i still miss sangeyboy !!!! Chanced upon this pic n i tot him a mighty handsome lad! hee hee so cute ah?!!Bug also look quite cheesy... TEE HEE HEE

Good Day

Today is a good day.
Today was my convo and i made a new fren.
I was on time and made no panicky last minutes.
Went up the stage to receive my scroll without tripping over on the stage or makin weird faces on candid camera.
Took photos w some of my fav profs.
Made my mum n dad beam.
Took photos with lotsa friends and special frens.
Finish the whole roll of film with my single potrait as the finale.
My new hair made me proud by stayin put.

AND.............
I met an indian boy who looked ALOT like Chaiten. And he was tryin to impress me with his singing. Kept smiling shyly wen he caught me smilling n nodding to him. When we alighted the bus, he kept looking back to smile at me.
SO CUTE.
Those eyes...nose....mouth...so much like chaiten. Only that he was plummer than Chaiten.

You dont have to read this, its for me to read.

The night when we went to collect our gowns(only bosy collected hers), bosy made this comment---" I think if you've gotten to know the wee brothers in year one, your results could have been much better?"

I was stunned for that moment. For that was what i have been thinking all along, and my imaginary-impulse-reaction was to pull my hair and cry: "YAR! I COULD HAVE BEEN AN EXECELLENT STUDENT! ONE OF THE BEST! But why did i throw myself into this shithole?!!"
But imaginations aside, i was chewing on those words and wondering for a conclusive response. And finally, i made it sound like i was very satisfied with my current state : " Well...i would have missed out on alot of things" And i meant it.But that was far short from satisfaction. It was more of a sigh-i-understand-but-i-dun-really-want-to-into-all-that-again.

I know. i know. Alot of ppl might say: "Havent you got over all that already?!"
But the thing is...i've gotten over it alright but it still kicks me you know. Cos it's not just about the results but also what happens before and after the results! Its the means! (now doesnt that sound familiar)
Its the means that tell so much of me!!!!!!! and im not particulalry proud of wat it tells.

NOW. I am yet again caught up in battles with puny temptations, petty annoyances, little sins, nuah sai etc. Am i trying to kill myself with rest-and-laze-around overdose?
I got to loathe myself so much that i'm starting to think....this is not right. I mean, i read the bible, i read other books; and they gave me the nods and the sighs and the i'm-sorry-i-wun-do-it-again. I really meant it all!
But why do i kept gallivanting back with those stuffssssss? Dont i just sound like Curly or wat!
The difficult thing about a Christian's life isnt about understanding what the bible says or what God is (though i'd never said they are easy), but to put these "revelations" into practical applications.

I guess then...it's not jus christians' lives which are so hard huh?

Actually...i tink the hardest thing is to not love myself. Yup i love myself too much, even more than God. I love myself so much that i end up hating myself. Or to put the other way, i hate myself so much that i love myself. Haha...structure's different but contents still the same.
Not for my dad, not for my mum, not for my friends, but for myself.
Yup my greatest acknowledgment.
And i really want to love Them all. But i dont know what love is. Dont know what faith is. Dont know what God is...don't know everything! I don't know i dont know i dont know....

*PROSTRATES*

Wileen! Say ! Say!