Nuah Sai Day

I hereby officially declare today as the Nuah Sai Day. For i had not only nuahed(laze) ...but i did it the WHOLE DAY. Felt strangely disgusted and amazingly satisfied at the same time. HA HA...i am so dead.

This strange dislocation (supposed to be "disorientation") was not because i had no plans or clueless as to what my future would most probably be like, but the truest sense of laziness anyone can ever experience. Maybe it's because i'm finally a jettisoned young adult; out of the realm of mugging books; into the realm of bugging and mugging people. This strange new freedom, this apparent control over the gears of one life...is so scary.It scared me numb.
It's no longer the same nuah sai days as before, because it no longer propose a definite redemption; that when school reopens, one can redeem oneself for whatever nuah sai was done. Nor can it be rationalized as before, that what was nuahed today was the reward from before's hardwork.It's a new kind of nuah sai. A nuah sai that one pounds and moulds it out of free will.

They always say "It's ok. You should appreciate now and nuah as much as want..cos when once you land yourself a job you wont have the chance anymore."
Of course, i wont doubt what they say is untrue. I just thought...are we all so controlled by our daily hassles that our views become quite so microscopic?Live by the days, get ourselves entrenched in those daily woes, whine about it, lament about it, and then the next days we forget and continue to smile. It's good. It's of cos good that way. But are we just wearing blinders of our own that our views become quite so microscopic?
Pulling myself out and getting a bird's eye view out of all this...i realise(like always)...that hey...life can be ever so boring.(I remembered i said that to someone recently) Life can be REALLY boring.

Maybe life doesnt have a purpose. Maybe its because all people like me are just so bored they wana create a purpose, concrete or elusive. The latter would only beckon them to search for it."Purpose driven life" as one book puts it.Maybe days like today have no names to it...and i just had to name it "nuah sai day" and feel bad about it.

And i am thinking...that THAT is my coping mechanism. My way of creating concrete terms such as "procrastination", "selfish", "pessimistic", "sanguinee", "jovial" to live up to or against.Which arent all necessary except that i see them as necessary. Cos that's how i am today as an Angel-here(as wat aunty jenny calls of me..haha)...if not i think i would still be a Devil-here(devilia)..haha...
Aiya i cant concentrate on writing anymore now...talking to my fren over msn.damn. break my chain of tot and i cant multitask!