22 May 2005 0053(India)

"For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,
but against principalities,
against powers,
against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:10-12)

Friends, they can be such bare necessecities. A night of fellowship discussions, and finally today the revelation hit me. When i put them out in words, and saying them verbally, everything seems clearer. Everything seems less "evasive" (as what Joyce said i seem to be)

The past days had been pretty miserable. So bad that I cried. Went to grab a shower for my head just to escape detections of this humiliating crying. Yesterday's reflections wasnt enough to come to a satisfactory conclusion. everything still seems so evasive.
But today was different. it seems that Lord has grant me the wisdom the clarity, to understand things. What was or has been was probably because that i had treated M and J too "saintly". And in the process, i placed expectations that are too utopian. so what of they hit the children, if children are afraid of them. or that they merely seem fake or less warm to us? if i learn to see in less as saint, but more as humans just like you and i, then in this process i grow to love them more because then you realise what it means to take 2 hands to clap the loudest. That is, i have to make the effort to make the difference, to let them love me more and i love them more; to elicit the warmth from them.

For we are all sheltered by the same umbrella. Our love for Lord Jesus was elicited by the love Jesus had for us. And in this faith we built a Home for each other. Amen. =)