From Lord Wuss

Dearly beloved,

we are gathered here today to mourn the sad passing of "Big Stapler". He has given us many good months of service. never taking MC despite the numerous tough thick stapling jobs he has been put through. Never complaining even when abused by the various ungrateful users who take the good service we provide for granted. In a last act of bravery before his passing, he valiantly attempted to chew on his last stack of paper, getting stuck in the process. Alas, Jiahui's desparate efforts to resusitate him were in vain. Indeed Big Stapler's life has been a tremendous lesson to us all in servitude without reservation... Let us take a moment to reflect on how he has touched each an every set of our lecture notes, saved us from moments of embarassment when our notes drop in a scattered pile on the LT floor in front of the beautiful girl or the handsome hunk when our concentration is diverted from the charismatic sermons of our lecturers, and did not have to run all over the LT chasing after our precious scrawlings of academia sanctity..

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust